It’s been two days since.

I thought I would feel something different. Like the lifting of a burden. Or something. But it didn’t materialise quite the way I hoped it would.

Well I was speaking to my friend today. Not speaking, actually. It was more of the conveying of information. Merely in a non-personal context. But still there’s that uncomfortable feeling, that sense that something isn’t quite right here. There isn’t the bond anymore.

And it kind of sucks. There’s nothing I can do. If I could, I would. But I can’t. Until the day we resolve this openly. Which recontextualises the unresolved issue into a generalised paradigm. (I’ve been reading a lot of Dilbert recently. Ha, ha)

Well, since there’s nothing I can do, why bother anyway.

When I look back at the issues that bothered me five years ago, I can’t help but be amused at the utterly insignificant things I worried about. Some of which did turn out as badly as I imagined they would. (I only found out about some of this recently). I guess I wasn’t too smart at 14.

And when I look back now, I can’t help but smile at the things that bugged me so much.

And when I look back 5 years from now, I know things will be great, no matter how badly this stuff blows up. (which might be quite bad)

And I know there’s Someone beyond me who smiles with me. =]